Jeg elske du...

Today was a weird day... so many little things to make one think. I found out a very good friend of mine is thinking about getting a divorce, and wanted advice from of all people... me. Realistically I am not, and should not be the authority on relationships, but I simply told her... "follow your heart."

Which, that statement... seems to be the problem entirely. The "heart" can be blind, stubborn, and generally unintelligent all at once. The sort of thing that makes you wish you could shut off that element of your brain completely... Or at least take it out in a field somewhere and beat it until it promises to make wiser decisions in the future. But... at the end of the day, if you're not happy, you owe it to yourself to make yourself happy somehow. Coming from me, again, it's funny... I'm perpetually jaded with all things involving love, and I'm a generally displeased person. It's not that I'm unhappy... I just see things for what they really are in many cases.

Whatever the case, I was then having a conversation with a friend that I can relate to all too well given the latest goings on in my life relationship wise. I really hope his situation works out for the best... he deserves it for sure.

But then I got to thinking... if relationships make so many people question so much of their life, and so many of their preconceived notions about what love and relationships are... are wrong... Is it really ever worth it? I thought about this all day.. which is why my July 3rd posting is now technically being posted on July 4th. As much as I really want to say it's not worth it.. and I hate to admit it... but it is. You just have to know yourself REALLY well. I've thought on many occasions that I found love... and looking at them now, detached from the moment, I know wholeheartedly I was wrong, wrong, wrong. I was hormonally imbalanced or something. Perhaps suffering from your garden variety insanity.

I think most people can agree that love cannot be defined entirely by words because a lot of it is feeling... but many actions and sentiments CAN be defined. It's the little things PLUS feeling.. I can honestly say for me... I know that when I DO love someone... it's someone that knows what I'll do, before I even do it. Someone that understands me and accepts me for what I am. Someone that doesn't care that I scrunch up my face in the most unattractive way.. at bad smells, bad jokes, or just bad timing of things. Of course... those are all really small things... and I have many friends both here, back home, all over anymore really that do all of those things... and I love them to pieces. The problem is I see so many people.. myself included... mistake love, for IN love. It's not the same, but it's taken me a long time to realize it. IN love definitely includes all of those traits, it has to.... but it also has to have the other part of the equation. When you're with that person are you fine doing absolutely nothing as long as you're doing it together? When you look at them do you already know what they're thinking? Do you go out of your way to make sure they know you care? When they look at you do you get a warm fuzzy feeling inside? Because... well, if you're going to say you're IN love with a person, you should probably know exactly what I'm talking about.

Love lately is a conundrum for me. And... it's definitely a two way street. The problem is, some drivers on this two way street are driving all willy-nilly, like children suffering from ADD in bumper cars... assuming because they feel SOME elements, that the other person MUST, and HAS to reciprocate those. But the fact of the matter... is humans really don't do that. We get bored.. we mature.. we move on. Or.. we wake up once hormones have settled and realize just a few of those elements were missing, whether the other person realized it or not. It's sad, and unfortunate, but its the truth.

So, for my friend who is more than likely getting a divorce... at least you realized some elements were missing now.. instead of 20 years from now. You still have a life to live, fun to have, and happiness to find. For my other friend, I do sincerely hope he and his girl work on things, and have a fantastic time doing so... because I know for a fact they have all of the proper elements there.

As for myself... I have hope. I can feel the feeling... the one that I will feel when all the elements are wrapped into one glorious amazing person. Jeg elske du. Already. Now I'm just waiting for the day I roll over in bed and can wrap my arms around said glorious amazing person. Because now that I know what love is, what it isn't.. and what I need... I know I wont screw things up. Only problem is... anyone I've actually ever REALLY loved... I realized I never bother to tell them. Should probably work on that someday. Unfortunately today... is not that someday. Get back to me next week. I'll reschedule again then.